A Blogger who's a Logger

One of the things that has made me one of the most successful humans on the planet, is that I LOVE logging shit. Water, calories in, calories out, car miles, running miles, shark week, daily "to dos", my mood, or when my knees hurt particularly bad - I log that shit.
Side note: I'm not actually the most successful human on the planet, but please, don't stop reading, I'm still SUPER smart and know SO much about random stuff. Ok Not really.

Logging keeps me accountable.
Loggings gives me something to look forward too. I get to check-off or color in or open up an app that already has it all there in front of me...making it easy PEASY.
The first time I ever started logging my food and calories, I lost 20 pounds. Not overnight, or in a month, it took a LOT of months, but it worked, and I felt like a superhero.
When I stopped logging, I slowly but surely started gaining the weight back. I wasn't tracking it, so that extra 5 pieces of pizza were ok. There wasn't a number in my face showing me what I'd actually eaten that day. When I log, I eat within my calories, and what a normal human should eat. When I don't, I've guesstimated that I probably can eat 4,000 calories a day NO PROBLEM. Cuz why wouldn't I? Food is F-ing fantastic. And then I'll probably Instagram that I #ateallthefood.

When I try to help people get healthy, and tell them to drink their water (1/2 your body weight in ounces every single day), they tell me right away they just can't. But you HAVE too, it's like, one of the most important things to LIVE. But every day, they check-in and WATER is the ONE thing they just didn't get too. Not enough. TRACK IT I scream from my front porch! There are so many amazing apps out there! Tell it your goal, enter your ounces, and magical things happen when you've hit your goal each day. Yes, you are GOING to pee a LOT. But you'll get over it. And your body will adjust, and life will go on.

When I log my water intake, I drink roughly 80-100oz of water a DAY. Way MORE than "the people" say I even need. When I don't...maybe 20 ounces all day...maybe. Yikes.
If you feel like crap most days, keep in mind that WATER is what flushes out all the garbage from your body each day. Without it, that crud just stays all up in there, making you puffy and sore and moody and broken. I'm certainly not saying water will fix it all, but it certainly helps. When I'm not logging water, I tend to drink other things, things I know I shouldn't really be drinking. When I'm logging water, WATER is the #1 thing I drink, and usually the ONLY thing I drink. I'm still alive and thriving, so I promise it won't kill you.

BRB I have to pee....

😜

If you have an apple watch, you can log your water right on your wrist! And you'll get friendly reminders to keep you going. TIME TO DRINK! 

This app is literally called "My Water"

When I did 80 Day Obsession, and there wasn't an app to log ALL the things, I searched Etsy until I found the perfect adorable colorful planner made just for that program and the plan I was on. I logged every single thing I ate for 80+ days. All my workouts, water consumption, supplements, all of it. It was the most successful program I've ever done. I lost 15 pounds and got in the best shape of my life.

just showing you how logging helped me

And then I stopped. Because it was over.
And now here I am. Almost 15 pounds heavier...and back on the logging  truck.
I'm gonna log it ALL.

This new "thing" I'm doing, The Last 90 Days (treating the last 90 days of the year with the same enthusiasm and excitement and love as you would the first 30 days of the year...) we have daily things to accomplish, so you better believe I printed off my logs and picked my favorite colored pencils and away I went.
I'm doing it. And if I don't, it's sitting there staring me in the face.

hey girl

Can logging all your shit make you crazy? Absolutely. It gets exhausting. Were the breaks I took needed? Totally.
BUT... at the end of the day, it's the ONLY way THIS girl gets her shit together.
Check the box, color the box, select the food, track the workout, count, tally, whatever it is, it works for me.

So... if you struggle with anything in your life that could benefit from some sort of log, I'd say log your little heart out! Give it a try! Start small, don't over log yourself all at once of course. See how it goes. Maybe it will help you reach a goal. Maybe it will make you crazy and angry. If you do decide to try it, I challenge you to try it for 30 days. See what happens. Maybe fireworks will go off after those 30 days...nobody knows!

Are you a logger?! Let me know! What do you log? How do you log it? How has it helped you? Is there something ELSE I can log? Ooh let me know!

Until then....
I'll be blogging about my logging...


~emilyk8

My Decorating Hell

Let's talk about decorating for a minute.
My decorating game has gone DOWN hill fast....and I felt the spiral coming for years.
I'm not talking about how my house will never look like Pottery Barn (that's another demon for another day), I'm talking about Seasonal "Spend All Your Money On All The Glittery Skull Pumpkin Fall Harvesty Hay bale shit followed closely by the Christmas explosion" decorating.

My cute innocent decorations started when I had my cute little apartment and a dollar store budget. I bought all the fabulous dollar store stuff...which back then...was decent, and not overwhelming.
Then my budget turned into the Year End Clearance at Target. I'll go ahead and buy these things on Nov 1st and save SO much money. I win. It doesn't really match my dollar store swag, but it'll be fine. Then the Good Lord introduced me to Hobby Lobby...Home Goods...Marshalls...you get the idea.  And I need to add that over time, the seasonal decorating market has EXPLODED...I'm sure you've noticed this too. I wanted it all. I slowly added to my collection, and my ONE orange bin, appropriate for fall of course, turned into 3 bins. To be fair, they are separated by Halloween, Fall, and then the Harvesty shit for the 5 seconds you "decorate" for Thanksgiving before Christmas consumes your soul. (not saying it's a BAD thing, calm down, I love me some Christmas time...)
I'd love to toss it ALL and start fresh with every single thing from Kirkland's. Like EVERY thing. But until I win the lottery, that's not happening.

Then there's always the "when".
When can/should I decorate for fall? In September? Even tough it's 96 outside? How about October 1st, that sounds pretty good. But wait...should I decorate for Halloween, or just Fall, or both? Cuz they don't really match. My fall Dollar Tree fake leaves and more natural look doesn't really go with the glittery light up pumpkins and skulls....not even a little bit. They just don't mix. But I have TWO bins full of Halloween glitter...ah the struggle!

Let's do a little of both. The mantle will be Fall, while the front hall shelf will be more Hallweeny. That sounds good. But what about the bathrooms? I have the black flowers and dark decor...but those fall fake flowers just seem to look so much nicer paired with that cute little pumpkin for the counter....

This year I've taken a deep breath and decided that I'll go with Fall, and add the glitter Halloween party ON or NEAR Halloween, since we usually have a party every year. As stressful as that is, it just makes the most sense. Ok. I can move forward with my life....for now. For less than 2 months.

Then it starts again. My Christmas decor is not different...Dollar store mixed with clearance, mixed with Garage sale treasures (oh Lord help me at Garage sales not buy ALL the decorations...), and family items passed down by grandmas. Nothing matches. It's a HOT Baby Jesus Mess. And it seriously makes my anxiety go through the roof. Why can't my house look like the Holiday section at Hobby Lobby or TJ Maxx? How much will I have to spend for it to be just right in my eyes?

And WAIT...what do we do with ALL the stuff you have to move to make room for the decorations? All the stuff on my mantel....it has to go SOMEwhere! So I move it all around the house to any available space I can find where it doesn't look too out of place. The basement is a good catch all for off season decorations. It'll be summery down there while we enjoy Fall up here. It's the ever rotating fake plant, candle holder, sign, decor party...

I know...it's dumb and trivial and I should be thankful I have fake spider webs and foam pumpkins, and ALL the seasonal crafts from the kids that find their way out as decorations each year...I know.
Other people seem to decorate so seamlessly, like one day they wake up and just convert their fortress into Bronners with the ease and grace of a butterfly. Ya'll know Bronners right? OMG...walk away.

So for now, I will enjoy my Fall haven, even though it doesn't look like a magazine or Pinterest.
I'll be thankful for what I DO have...the hand me downs and handmade creations. And I'll continue to die a little every time I walk by the immaculate decorations at all my favorite stores.


Please enjoy my masterpiece

don't mind the toys...they never leave

I cleaned a coffee pot today...

I often judge myself through the eyes of other moms...
Does that even make sense?
"Oh, both of your kids are in school all day? You must...
   have so much time
   be bored 
   get a lot done
   sit on the couch all day
   do nothing
   watch tv 
   sleep....

I sit here and actually WORRY about what other moms/dads/people think I do...so much so that I feel like I have to justify what it IS that I do all day. Which is dumb, I don't need too. I know perfectly well what I do all day, and you are about to know too.

First and foremost, with age and momhood, has come Anxiety, something I never experienced before,  or at least never really noticed before. It doesn't take much to "freak me out" or "stress me out" or "anything me out"... And the bottom line is, at this point in my life, I COULD NOT be a full time working mom. I honestly and completely have NO idea how you full time mommas do it. You are incredible and amazing in my eyes and like magical mystical unicorns with capes and glitter and I just can't process how you work all day and keep your house in check and feed the people that live in your house and all the other things that come with mommin'....I really just can't even process it.

Yes, I had the full time gig before. From 2001 to 2012 I worked full time. 2+ of those years with a baby person. I managed and did ok, but once #2 started growing in my oven, I knew right then I wouldn't be able to do it all. (Also, my income wouldn't cover full time daycare, so that's honestly the first reason I didn't go back to work, I also just didn't want to work, not one bit). Yes, I chose this life and I'm "hashtag blessed" I have a hard working hubby who takes care of our family while I spend all day long at Target (just kidding. Kind of).

Anyway...I always feel like I have to justify my life (which again, I don't). But it's also kind of fun to put down in writing what I've done, because at the end of each day, when I do finally sit down and turn on the Tv (which has been OFF all day long), I try to think back to what the hell I did and why I'm so tired and why it doesn't look like I did a damn thing....

7am - Wake up time. Waking up sucks. I'd rather sleep in, but here I am, dragging my ass out of bed so I can begin our day and wake my small roommates. Please note my husband has been LONG gone for the day, cuz he's a damn magical beast. I don't even hear him leave.
7:30-8:30 - the morning shenanigans....literally dragging the small people out of their beds, helping them become productive members of society, making them breakfast, making lunches, preparing snacks,  asking them 88 times to do things, pick up, brush their teeth, get their shoes on, etc (the chore chart is helping SO much 😳).
8:30 - shuttle the precious angels to school. Sometimes we drive. Sometimes we drive/walk (because Lord knows asking them to walk .6 miles to school in the morning would not go well...and really it IS a small hike, and nobody has time for that...)
8:50 - the children have entered their classrooms and I mentally start prepping for whatever it is I've makeshift planned for the day. Monday and Tuesday I head off to a local art studio where I help out and take care of social media stuff (which we'll get to later, because social media has no hours and is a 24/7 "job"...am I right? Yes, I am). But today is not one of those days, so back home I go.
8:53 - arrive home. Sit in chair. Open laptop. Get sucked into Facebook land for roughly one hour while I mentally prepare to workout.
9:50 ish - notice some grass on the floor. Hell NO. Grab dust buster and bust the shit out of the front hallway. Oh look, dog pee, on the dance bag. Empty and clean dance bag. Clean floor. Re-clean floor. Fuck, I hate dog pee. When did he do this? My fault for leaving the bag on the floor. I'm a "leave shit on the floor" person...I need to stop doing that. One day I will. One day...
9:56 - Ok, time to workout, wait, why is that window so dirty? Drink pre-workout while staring out dirty ass window. Nope. This won't do. Get out all window cleaning devices and clean the inside and out of the doorwall (sliding door).

not ok

professional quality

Pre-workout has kicked in, but while I was out there, I noticed a few craps that really needed to be picked up. Pick up chihuahua crap. Take out to garbage at curb. Re-arrange patio furniture real quick and question why we never sit outside. It's nice outside. We should sit outside. Meh.
Oh, I should workout.
10 ish - head downstairs to my mom workout station and push play. Yes, I'm hashtag lucky and shit that I can/do workout every day. This is a non-negational for me. This keeps me sane and stuff.
11 ish - come upstairs a hot sweaty smelly AF mess. Think about how hashtag thankful I am to be at home and not at a gym because I truly smell terrible. Drink my post-workout so I have any chance of walking tomorrow (it was leg day) and feed the dogs.
Feeding the dogs is a process in itself. I have to referee this eating time as they eat different food and it's like a mini circus for approximately 4 minutes.
Don't forget to post that post-workout selfie so everyone knows you worked out (really just the people in my online accountability group or fitness Facebook page, which is quite neglected lately). Otherwise nobody will know and it's like it never happened, clearly. 

oh look, there I am, in a mirror that has yet to be hung...

Scroll facebook real quick to make sure I didn't miss any major life events. I should really shower, I smell.
11:30 - ok I'll shower. Contemplate life and what else I can worry about during said shower. Think about all the things I want to do today but won't.
Noonish - I'm dressed, in a dress at that! Like what? Why? It's clean the house day and here I am wearing a dress. Poor choice, but I like to prove to myself that sometimes I can wear clothes. I'm mostly a cutoff short and tank top, or workout clothes person. I think I'll clean the downstairs bathroom now. Cleans downstairs bathroom.
I'd really like to do a load of towels, but my new washing machine is sitting in the garage, so I guess I'll clean the laundry room floor instead.
12:30pm - bathroom and laundry room clean AF. I should eat lunch. OR, I should start blogging about how damn exciting my day has been! Yes, I'll do that instead.
It's 1:05, here I am typing away. I have only 2.48 hours until I retrieve my tiny roommates from school...Say WHAT? I still have so much to do! Damn.
I'll be right back....
1:10 - make lunch. Eat lunch alone. One of the few times I sit during the day. But it's a state mandated break, so of COURSE I'm taking it. Make sure I didn't miss any life events on fb. Log my calories. Check the weather. Play words with friends if I have time, but there's probably not time. Browse Pinterest for what to make for dinner. Damn, dinner. I forget about this event everyday. I'll think of something to make. Maybe. Time to clean the kitchen, because no matter how many times I do the dishes, there are ALWAYS dishes in the sink. Yes, I should use my dishwasher more, but then I have to unload it. And that's just dumb. Nobody has time for that. Do dishes, think about life.
1:30 - clean sink. But wait, the stove is nasty AF again. Anyone else have to clean/dust their black gas stovetop 98 times a month? But it's still hot from my gourmet tuna melt...I'll do that later.
I guess I'll clean hubby's coffee pot. (yes, it's his, I don't drink coffee. Can you even believe that? I do ALL these magical things without a drip of coffee. Crazy, I know.)

Would you look at that? Now THAT deserves a standing ovation or a high five or something.
I'll wait...

before

before

after

after

I mean....it's like heaven.

1:40pm - put laundry away from yesterday. This alone should earn me an Emmy or an Oscar or some shit. Laundry is the worst. Yet here I am, doing it every 4 seconds. My anxiety can't let my laundry get behind, or else, I'm not sure, I might implode or something...
Prepare new laundry for when my washing machine is ready. (not having a washing machine accessible is giving me a minor heart attack...deep breaths....I can handle this...) And by "prepare" laundry, I mean collect it all, cut all the tags off of all the girl's new clothes, set aside somewhere safe.
I should really wash the sheets today...oh wait. Shit. And the towels, they need to be washed. I guess tomorrow....
1:50 - shuffle shit. Not going to lie, I spend 98% of my day shuffling shit. A term I got from my mom, a master shit shuffler. From counter to table, table to counter, counter A to counter B, things that can't quite be filed yet, or things that don't have a home, school forms, random coupons I might use, shit. Pick up toys and blankets. Pick them up again. Hang up sweatshirts, put away shoes. Do it all again. All day long. My throat hurts. Time for some Airborne. My head kinda hurts too. Gotta clean the stove now. 
2pm - you guys, my stove is SO clean right now? Do you want to come over and see it? Because nobody will notice. And I think it looks really nice....

2:10pm - I went to take a picture of my amazing stove, but couldn't find my phone, so upstairs I went to find it...which means a few more things to shuffle. Found it. Oh, while I'm up here, might as well clean our bathroom. Ok, bathroom #2 done. Wow, I'm like REALLY rocking this day. Also, Lysol toilet bowl cleaner is the best. You really need that gel CLING, and this has it. And I would know, because apparently I'm a domestic Goddess. Lysol.

so much POWER

and here's that clean stove of mine...

2:15pm - speaking of Lysol, I should really use my new Norwex shit...cuz I'm all about not using chemicals and shit. I should dust.

 But first...I need to shuffle this shit around...

They LOVE to play with toys on the TV Stand...like why? 

Ok...I'm ready!

Norwex dusting glove for the WIN

2:40pm - dusting and shuffling done...for now. I don't sell this stuff, but I'll say, I REALLY enjoyed that dusting glove. I feel like normally the dust just gets shoved around and not really removed, but this bad boy like got it all. I'm happy and will sleep soundly tonight.
But in my shuffling I found this bad boy on the floor next to the chair...(cuz floor...)

 

How can I throw this away? I mean, it's perfect. (Do you SEE why I have so much stuff, and anxiety to go with?) I'll stick this someplace safe and re-evaluate in a year....

Shit...Less than an hour until I go pick up the roommates. I should vacuum real quick.
No wait, I should dust upstairs with my new toy.
2:48 - That's the cleanest our IKEA black/brown bedroom furniture has EVER been. I'm so amazed right now, I want to like sing a song or something. Instead, I'll just say, that I get it now.
I get you Norwex. 
Really, I don't sell it, this was just my first time, and I'm excited.

Subject change: I just glanced up and saw a hummingbird outside the window. That made me happy. I feel like that's rare. I should get a hummingbird feeder, but is it hummingbird season? I have no idea. But that was exciting. I'll probably even mention it later to my roommates.
Hummingbirds are f-ing adorable. 

2:50pm. I hear the high school bus. I should run outside and grab the recycle bin and check the mail.
Mail isn't here, but I brought the recycle bin up. Sometimes it's nice to pop outside to let the neighbors know I'm alive and well. I know they worry. It's super nice out today. I should get outside more....but it's Facebook post time (work).
3:01pm - ok, that's done. But it's never really done. Like I mentioned before, social media is a 24/7 beast, or at least a 12/7 beast. Between shuffling shit, cleaning, laundry, errands, that's where you'll find me...working away. But it's easy for me, and fun, and I can do it from the couch or from China or from the school parking lot so it works for me.
Speaking of errands...I didn't even leave the house today...on days I have to grocery shop or Target shop or anything else shop...nothing else really gets done, because obviously how could it, I'm only ONE person. I'm not like that magic guy from America's Got Talent that my kids are obsessed with who can go from one place to another in .3 seconds. He'll make a great dad.
3:04pm - I leave soon, so it's not wise to start a new project. Actually, I need to go clean the toilet bowl upstairs...I like to let that shit soak. Lysol. 
3:10pm - so that's done. I went ahead and threw some mascara on as well, so I look like the super model that I am. While I was doing that, I missed a call. I'm sure it was super important. I feel bad I missed it. Sometimes I google the number, just to see if I can figure out who/what it was.
Anyone else? No? Just me? (but really, who called me?)
I haven't even planned dinner yet...shit, it's Girl Scouts tonight...I have 25 forms to fill out and checks to write...but first I'll have to feed my people. Pinterest here I come...

Damn, I need an onion. I don't have an onion...but that haircut is super cute...
I think it'll be a spaghetti and meatballs in the instant pot night...so easy.

3:25pm - This has been the longest I've sat today. Some working, some email (biggest time suck in the history of history). I'll go get my people from school and then the next 3 hours will be a hot mess of homework, dinner1, shuffling school shit, dinner2, filling out forms, cleaning the kitchen again, shuffling shit, girl scouts, snack. Bed.
At THIS moment in time, at 3:26 on a Wednesday, the house is in OK shape. That will all change. And sometime in there we'll also need to carry in the washing machine and hook it up so this momma can do her beloved laundry. I love/hate laundry. 

In the meantime...I hope you enjoyed my day as much as I did. Where nothing got done, but a few things got done...and we'll do it all over again tomorrow...add in laundry...errands...and whatever else it is that I do.

When you can't scream and punch people in the throat, you write....

(language warning - Sorry not sorry)
6 Days
It's been 6 days on this program, and to say I'm going through a wee bit of a detox is an understatement. The longest I've ver gone is 3 days. THREE. 
I didn't realize this would happen. I didn't realize any of this would happen. 
That nagging headache...the bloating...the scale NOT moving...and the GD irritability. 
"Why do you suck so bad?!" - my husband's exact quote, which does NOT help the situation, especially when this was moments after I shut my pinky in the pantry door. 
Remember when you were little and caught your fingers in doors?! Holy FUCK it hurts! I was convinced it was going to fall off, and I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs. But I didn't want to scare the neighbors...or kids. I wanted to run away. I literally wanted to punch a wall. But instead I walked into the bathroom and tried not to cry. Try = Failed. But it wasn't a good cry, just a few tears, cuz ya know, everyone was right outside the door, just living their lives...completely clueless to the madness going on inside my body. They don't give a fuck. They just want me to keep on keeping, being mom, wife, doing ALL the thing ALL the fucking time. They don't have a fucking clue. 

What am I detoxing from? Everything bad I guess. Sugar? Alcohol? Pizza Rolls? All those things. And let me tell you, a pizza roll detox is harsh. I've nourished my body all week with gallons upon gallons of water, and more vegetables that I've eaten in a year. I push play every day on my workout. I sweat my as off. I swear occasionally. I follow my meal plan to a mother f-ing T. I eat exactly what I'm supposed to eat, exactly when I'm supposed to eat it. I don't cheat.  I shower and get dressed and do it all again the next day. And it's fucking exhausting. And it's been 6 days. I have 74 days to go (and then some). 
This will be fine. It's going to be fine. 

I'm doing this to prove to MYself that I can actually do this. 
Sure I've followed programs before (a LOT of programs)....for the most part. I mean, I'll dabble in the meal plan, mostly do my own thing, still drink, and get ok results. Working out has never been the problem, I'll run laps and do squat jumps ALL day long...but eating...well that's another story. I have a problem with food. It's delicious and I eat it. 
4 years ago I lost 30 pounds. And it was ok. I did it my way. It worked. But then I started eating again...and slowly but surely, that shit crept right back on. Not all of it...but enough that my clothes are tight....I hate looking in the mirror...and I mostly want to punch myself on a daily basis because I'm SO disappointed in myself. I've "let myself go". And this is not ok with me. I just turned 38, and it's my time to shine. 

Enter 80 Day Obsession. Perfect! This looks good! Perfect timing! I can do this. I'll do it my way of course. I'll workout, but I'll eat what I want, stick to my calories. It'll be fine. 
Enter Autumn's 80 Day coaches test group. Enter her saying, you'll do it my way. 
Oh...wait...so like, I should follow this meal plan huh? 
Ok. 
I can do this. 
Wait, what now? No alcohol? 
Shhhh, I'll drink a little here and there. I'll be fine. 
But Emily doesn't drink "a little"...Emily goes all in. Then comes the food, because you can't tell drunk Emily not to eat Taco Bell, or whatever else I find. You just can't. Really, don't try.
Ok...so maybe I won't drink. Maybe I'll give this a shot. 
I practice a whole week. I did it. I figured it out. I felt ok. 
Now we are into our first weekend, and shit has hit the dusty fan (seriously, my ceiling fan is SO dusty...just another thing on my never ending list of shit to do around here...)

We got invited out for dinner and drinks with friends...at a Mexican restaurant. 
Well that's just fucking great. 
"We can go" I tell my husband, "but I won't be eating or drinking..." 
Sounds like a real great time doesn't it? Oh, and I totally go into Bitch mode just thinking about it. How dare they invite us out. What a bunch of assholes. (They are actually really fun people, which makes it even harder)
Like what am I supposed to do? Just sit there sipping on water while baskets of hot ass deep fried chips and fabulous salsa shuffle back and forth in front of me. 
And nobody will understand. "You look great" they say, "why are you even doing this?"
They don't get it. 
And besides being knocked up...I've never in my life been in a situation where I just sit there while people drink and carry on. Can I even do it? Seriously how the Fuck do I survive? As I sit here and secretly PRAY that my mother-in-law isn't free and can't watch the kids and I get to just be a hermit instead...even though Autumn said not to be. But I don't know how to exist out there in the wild!! I have NO idea! 
74+ more days...
It'll be fine. 
I'll figure it out.
Sticking with the process, and praying my body gets it's shit together, because I can't take these mood swings. 

But in the meantime...I need a punching bag, a therapist, and for people to please just not make any fun plans till mid April. 

Thanks so much! 
Sincerely, 
Hot Fucking Mess But I Want My Six Pack Back Emily